Can I be independent?

I've gone from considering self-publishing to seriously considering self-publishing. I have been waiting to hear back from a few publishers for what feels like ages. Once picked up by a publisher, it would still be a long road before seeing my novel in print.

I'm not considering the self-publishing route because it's faster and I'm impatient. Although I would like to make money as an author, that's not my highest priority either. The thing that attracted me most to traditional publishing was that the publisher would take care of all the editing, formatting, cover design, and maybe even do some marketing. If I'm going to be independent, then I need to hire all these things out or learn to do them myself.

Since I use Scrivener, I figured formatting my novel would be no big deal. Except that editors use Microsoft Word which makes it easy to show which changes were made. The thought of taking my manuscript from Word and somehow getting it back nicely into Scrivener makes my head spin. Plus, I'd like to make my novel look a little more special, which makes Word the better choice for formatting. But now I'm trying to figure out how to set the paper size, embed fonts, and hide headers on new chapter pages in Word. It's frustrating.

For each manuscript I've drafted, I like to make a little cover graphic to keep me motivated. As I got further along in the process of writing, editing, and submitting my first novel, I've actually made a pretty eye-catching cover. I'm no graphic designer though, so perhaps I'm just too close to it and my cover made with Gimp (which I have as much love for as Word) is actually terrible. Perhaps hiring a cover designer would be a good idea.

I do know for sure I would need a professional editor. I went ahead and found a few who are currently doing a sample edit. I've heard recommendations here and there that writers should get their manuscripts professionally edited before starting submissions to get traditionally published. But from where I stand, editing will be the biggest expense to get my novel ready for sale. If I'm spending that much up front, maybe I should do it all myself.

I've researched making a business, tax consideration, and the fun math accounting stuff. Maybe I really can do this on my own.

Except I know nothing about marketing. But other indie authors have said the best way to market your first book is to have a second (and third) book. I've already got that second book, and it's ready for line edits. I think I can make a go at this. We'll have to see.

Too busy for fiction

While my personal life has been a bit of a whirlwind, I've set aside a lot of activities while trying to heal. Although I haven't abandoned writing, I've been doing a lot of journaling, and not a lot of fiction drafting. I want to get back into a writing routine, but it still might take me a while.

My son started full day preschool, and with him gone during the day I thought I'd be able to get a lot more done. Lack of motivation aside, that hasn't quite been the case. I still have my daughter with me and she's full of energy and in the terrible twos. Whatever I'm doing, whether it's cleaning, typing, or getting dressed, she is right there trying to help. It's sweet, but finding time for writing during the day is still hard.

I've still been getting responses from agents and publishers on my first novel. Though I haven't gotten an offer, the feedback has been really positive. But the idea of continuing to query this particular manuscript makes my stomach turn. I was very thoughtful about who I sent submissions to and don't want to send my book to anyone who wouldn't be a great fit.

In the meantime, I have been researching self publishing. The success of some self published career authors gives me hope that maybe this would work for my writing career. I could pursue self publishing for my first book, or I could get my second finished manuscript ready for submission and focus on that one instead. I'm not sure; I need to think about it.

Pen Names

Early on, before finishing the first draft of my first book, I knew I didn't want to use a pen name. I've stuck to this decision so far, but after doing some research on my name, I thought I might have to.

At first, I wanted my work to be discoverable by friends and family. Everyone that I've ever known should go out and buy my books! Of course, the flaw in this plan is that they still won't know that I wrote a book until I somehow communicate this information to them. Or maybe some stalker types my name into Google and will find the books I've written. But honestly, I'd like this future stalker to buy my book as well.

After using "Elizabeth Martin" on all my queries and submissions, I decided to check and make sure there wasn't another already published author using my name. I found four. They write in a variety of genres, none in science fiction. But once I ask people to look up my book, I don't want them to type my name and buy the first novel that comes up... which probably won't be mine (at least at first).

Next, I checked variations of my name, and everything was either already taken or very similar to another author. I don't want to use a pen name dissimilar to my name. I know it says Victoria Smitherson is the author, but I swear I actually wrote it!

I kept looking up variations of my name and potential pen names until I finally checked my nickname, "Beth".  Although it doesn't have enough characters to stretch across the width of a paperback cover, it is easy to remember. And that will be important when I meet new people and network, and tell them to check out my novel. Just search my name-- it will be the top result.

At least that's the plan for now. I'm still waiting to hear back from a few more publishers.

Why I Write

I wrote this post a while ago and held onto it. I'm finally ready to share it and hope you enjoy.

I love Reddit. The community there on r/writing watched me grow from putting my first few words on paper, to participating in NaNoWriMo, to editing my novel and polishing my first query letter. It’s where I’ve met beta readers and where I’ve found some amazing books to read.

Something that comes up frequently on r/writing, is when someone new who hasn’t even dabbled in the writing world, asks what it’s like to be a writer. We pull back the curtain and gladly reveal the ugly truth. Finishing a novel is more difficult than you think. It’s incredibly hard to get traditionally published and can take years to see your work in print. You likely won’t make any money. Don’t quit your day job.

Then why do so many people want to write? We’ve got this romanticized vision of an author in a dark office sitting at a large oak desk, poking the keys of an old typewriter. Once this myth is dispelled, most aspiring writers tuck their tail between their legs and sulk away.

There are certainly others who do write. They dedicate themselves to drafting, revising, editing, querying, and remaining hopeful about the chance of one day having their book for sale. Some are certainly motivated by the prospect of fame, others by the desire to craft great stories. All I can say with any certainty is why I write.

Never in my childhood did I want to be a writer. I wasn’t one of those teens who carried an idea notebook with them everywhere. I did write. I wrote poetry and funny stories and kept a diary even into adulthood, but it wasn’t my only creative outlet.

I watched a lot of TV shows when my daughter was an infant. The only chair in our apartment that rocked was in front of the TV, so I’d watch shows on Netflix while I rocked her to sleep, or nursed, or held her after her brother had gone to bed. I watched one show in particular which wasn’t very good. It had the seed of a good idea but focused too much on adding weird plot twists and personal drama. I wished the show had focused on the one small aspect, that golden spark that didn’t get the opportunity to fully flourish. I wanted to nurture the idea and let it reach its full potential. I decided I would write it.

I found an old laptop, opened TextEdit, and started writing. Most of my writing was done while my son napped with the baby bouncing on my lap. It was infectious. I needed to get my story out and onto the page. When I tried to talk about my story, my husband would say, “Don’t tell anyone about it. Just write it down.” And that’s exactly what I did. I wrote.

Every once in a while, I would get stuck and have to take a few days to figure out what was next. I’d research some aspect of the science involved that was getting in my way. I didn’t even mention I was writing to friends and family until I was almost done with my first draft. Six weeks after deciding I needed to write this story, I found myself with a finished first draft.

Revisions took longer. The beginning of my story was a mess. Much of my writing had been done while only half awake and many of the scenes weren’t even finished. But once I got through to the other end, I had a cohesive novel which actually made sense. I was so proud of my work, I printed it off and mailed copies to family and friends.

Now that I had a finished (at least I thought it was pretty finished at the time) novel, I couldn’t stand not writing. With November fast approaching, I outlined a story about a teenage girl in a medieval setting who was trying to find a unicorn. Life happened, and it took me longer than a month to write. But before I even penned ’The End’ on that story, I had a flash of inspiration for another plot. I wanted to write about a scientist who was struggling with his career and his personal relationships.

Soon after finishing my manuscript on unicorns, I was writing a thriller about a researcher who found himself falling in love while the world around him was literally falling apart. Yet again, life happened, and with my bouncing baby now mobile and getting into everything, making time to write was even harder. Even though there were challenges and I purposefully took a long break while moving to a new house, I had to dive back in. My characters were calling for me. They needed a conclusion, and I was the one who had to lay it out.

With another manuscript drafted and sitting on my hard drive, I felt like I had gotten it out of my system. That was it. I had tried writing and I could move on with my life.

Then something strange happened. An internet stranger who found me through r/writing asked to read my first book. I had sent it to one publisher in hopes of one day seeing it in print but had decided that if they rejected it, I would hold off on the whole publishing thing. I packaged my book in a PDF and emailed it off, not even expecting my new internet friend to actually read it.

He did read it. And he seemed to enjoy it. He also told me the ending sucked and needed to be completely rewritten. He was right. The protagonist had known her plan was crazy from the start. She needed to learn her plan was crazy the hard way. With another flash of inspiration, I changed a lot of the ending. Not only was I proud of my revised story, I had to share it with the world.

Suddenly, I found myself obsessively researching literary agents and publishers, sending them my carefully crafted query. I officially considered myself a writer, and a successful writer needs a published book. After sending the first few queries, I wondered what my next novel would be. I opened Reddit looking for some inspiration, some seed that I could nurture and grow.

Someone posted a writing prompt which caught my eye. A future society where everyone’s DNA gets cataloged at birth. It hit me. I could already see my protagonist investigating the birth of a baby who had no father and an organization doing horrific experimental surgery to alter DNA. I had my idea, and I couldn’t rest until I wrote it all down.

To answer the original question posed, why do I write, it’s actually quite simple. After getting a taste, I can’t not write.